Hidden

by K.A. Wood

Comment from Marti

Excellent

*****

So much feeling and power comes from this little girl and her song. Very well written.

Comment from nilo

Excellent

*****

It is so well written.  Very sad to read and yet I couldn't stop reading.

Blessings,

Finding Benevolence

By K. A. Wood

Comment from paw

Good

****

I have read but not felt able to comment (but not because there is anything wrong with the story), but this work gives me the voice to agree with what I am reading because I recognize it and want to say 'me too!'. When Bennie says 'I won't be like them. I won't ever treat people the way they do. I won't be like them. I promise Heavenly Father. I promise.' I am right there with her, and I remember saying very much the same things about a foster-mother. And then, When Bennie sees and what she feels when she looks at the poor homes of the 'nigras', and the baby crying with no-one to cuddle him..ahh. That is how I have felt too, so for me this account has come alive and is filled with real people and real emotions. Stories should be able to do that - move us, stir us up, remind us of what our childhood dreams and nightmares were like. This whole story has moved (for me) from something I only wanted to peek at from the corner of my eye to a story where I can relate to and want to be alongside little Bennie as her life unfolds. So, good. :)

Well done Alicia.

Comment from HappyB

Excellent

*****

Enjoyed your story and the li'l inserts of life that you put into your writing!! Details make for a very enjoyable read in biographical works. You've got the touch to do this right, girl!! Enjoyed muchly!! :)

That Happy Chica,

Marcia

Comment from Phyllis

Good

****

Really enjoyed it. Good story line and dialogue.

Phyllis

Comment from Peggy

Excellent

*****

It’s an excellent work. You've got a five-star story. You are a great writer with a great story to tell.

Peggy

Comment from Hannah

Excellent

*****

Excellent! What a great way to begin a novel. I think your descriptions of the place, as well as the introductions of the characters are very, very well done. The next to last paragraph seems like foreshadowing and is also excellent. And I love the last paragraph. This is wonderful.

Comment from Jan

Excellent

*****

I found this to be very gripping even while difficult to read. Difficult because of the emotional content - not because of anything you did wrong. I thought you handled the swing from present to past very well. You left each chapter with a cliff-hanger, literally!

Well done,

Jan

Comment from lou

Excellent

*****

Such powerful words. A very moving piece of writing with wonderful descriptions that make the reader feel as though they are standing right there. Thought provoking ending that leaves me anxious to read on.

Well done.

Lou

Comment from gashby

Excellent

*****

This story, oh my goodness made my cry. I can just put myself in that situation and think back. I'm not old enough to know how it was during those days but sometimes it makes you wonder if things have really changed that much or not. The way it was written was remarkable. And I can’t wait to read more.

Comment from NeuralSp

Excellent

*****

Very well crafted. The dialogue and narrative are great.

Comment from Joseph

Excellent

*****

This is well done. The narrative is clear and crisp, and the writing has a good energy throughout. Also, good descriptions.

Comment from Kate

Good

****

Well, this is interesting, particularly as I note that it's non-fiction. You have tempted me to read more.

Good job.

Comment from ringo

Excellent

*****

This is very well written. The dialogues are realistic. There seems to be a genuine effort by the father to makes things look normal. It seems that the mother was under a deep attack of depression - at least this is my impression- depression is so cruel - I know what it means - it made me sometimes experiment with very dangerous things. Otherwise this is a serene description of a family that is trying its best to remain together despite all odds. Very well written

Comment from Sam

Excellent

*****

Darkly tinted with the fear only a child hiding from her parent's episodes of rage can know. You painted her well, the child hiding in the closet. I know a girl who woke screaming night after night. She only stopped when the fool parents she had divorced and could no longer scream at each other. Dark. You do darkness well.

Thank you,

Sam

Comment from Wgirl

Good

****

This is good Smiles,

CC

Comment from tiel

Good

****

This is strong stuff and the child's viewpoint is very appealing.

Comment from rin

Good

****

A crafty description of a domestic violence scene without actually describing in depth the brutality of such an incident. Also impressive was the description of the impact such a scene has on a little child (of a child mature for his/her age). It is clearly autobiographic, because it is actually written out of the author's heart. I liked this very much.

Comment from alsale

Excellent

*****

This is the best written work, of your, I have read. This is good story telling, good point of view. Indeed, you can feel a child thinking and acting and tell it as a rebellious child. You are starting to expose the chain of abuse running down the line and you do this cleverly.

Comment from leh

Good

****

Good story telling. In the first two chapters you were able to show us the dysfunctionality of a self-absorbed mother and an abusive father, ending with a symbolic fall. This chapter starts with taps on the window mixed with a recurrent nightmare. As a reader, I am prepared for the worst. There is an ominous feeling especially when the child narrator continues to close her eyes and hope it goes away. The beginning of the chapter makes you think monsters, but in the end it a gentle, if eccentric grandfather. So far he seems to be the kindest adult around; eccentric but decent enough. You skillfully show us, rather than tell us, how dysfunctional is the mother who lets the small kids look after her not the other way around. You have a good one.

Comment from Tallg

Excellent

*****

This is really excellent. Well written. A great insight into how racialism is passed from generation to generation until some child has the spirit to say 'No'. I don't know if this is in any way autobiographical, but it shows great insight. Very well done.

Comment from Olga

Excellent

*****

This is WONDERFUL writing. I got right into the family and the pain of the narrator. She was very consistent in her personality and in the way she expressed herself. This is an author I will continue to keep track of, because I am already hooked. Way to go!!!!

Olga

Comment from Poetic Vision

Excellent

*****

A breathtaking story of obvious abuse that looks all too familiar to me. Written with emotion and clarity, this story gripped at my heartstrings and held me captive. I look forward to what’s ahead. You are a gifted writer. Your bio is also intriguing. Congratulations for turning your obstacles into stepping stones! You will go far.

Awesome!

Jewell

Comment from Rick

Excellent

*****

This is very well written and captured my attention at once. The subject matter of your story appeals to me as well as your style and approach. There is great substance to your work. I will continue to follow you.

Comment from Jo

Excellent

***** 

Very powerful and moving story. You are a very descriptive writer. I could almost smell the bacon frying. My heart went out to this dysfunctional family and want to read more.

Jo

Comment from beth

Excellent

*****

Again, very nicely done. Like the character development.

Comment from Jay

Excellent

*****

Good writing. I see that this is a cathartic work for you so thank you very much for wanting to share this with us. I'm truly sorry you had to go through all that.

Comment from Toll

Excellent

*****

Nice job! This has been my favorite so far. I loved it. It was easy for me to relate to because a lot of people in my family are racist, and I could never understand why. Racism is SO stupid. Anyway, great story, I can't wait to read more. Keep up the good work!

Comment from Bella

Good

*****

An interesting story.

Bella

Comment from BrokenCrayons

Excellent

*****

BRAVO! BRAVO! Again, the dialogue is on point, and I never felt the sense of confusion. Very good description. You painted a picture perfectly in my mind. =] Again, good job and I look forward to your future works. By the way, the kid in that picture is adorable and SO ARE YOUR EYES! Ha-ha.

Comment from Spook

Good

****

Hello Alicia, you have a gift for building suspense. This is a great story. Great work.

Best Regards,

M.

Comment from kye

Good

****

Very good, has great emotion in it. This is a very well written piece.

Well done.

Comment from Silver

Excellent

*****

Clear and cohesive, it shows us how racial discrimination is practiced by most people and how the parents teach their children their own biases, which most children accept us right. It's nice to see a child who has her own conviction. Btw, is this your story or someone else's story?

Comment from Dyan

Excellent

*****

Excellent story, Alicia. The lead was intriguing, then read very smooth into a sad, yet warm story line. Poor Bennie is so sweet and innocent to the prejudices in the world.

Great job.

Dyan

Comment from Sandi

Excellent

*****

A very good. I like the way you write. Very descriptive, even about a terrible subject. I could feel the emotions coursing through me as I read what the little one had to live through....very hard...very good writing.

Comment from ller

Good

****

Nice job! This is a very interesting story. I remember feeling the same way when my parents brought my sister home from the hospital. This is a very well written, and I enjoyed reading it. I love all the dialogue. I'm really loving this story. It keeps my interest the whole time I am reading, and I'm always left wondering what is going to happen next. Great job and keep up the good work!

Comment from brightside

Good

****

This story brings back a lot of memories in some of your descriptions. I particularly like the way you describe the little girl huddled in the closet. Although the reason for her to be hiding is awful, the stance you describe is very much that of a small child.

BB

Comment from stepsinthesnow

Good

****

This is a remarkable piece that touches the heart. It is very descriptive and meaningful.

Comment from aBox

Excellent

*****

Really good. The characters are well-round and very great dialogue; it seems to suite the characters nicely. Good work!

Comment from jswf

Excellent

*****

This was very well done...The imagery created was excellent...The fizzing of the soda...The breakfast...Simply wonderful...I enjoyed reading it...Mother is quite a character...You describe her well...I liked the flow...Not too much...Not too little...Just right...May very well read more just because I'm curious...Great job.